Don't buy those cheap flowers

Today, my friend and I were going to go out for basketball. I explained to her that since it was the first day of try outs, they would probably try to kill us to knock off the weak ones. So therefore, she and I are going to plan and fake our own deaths to get out of running in basketball. I have every detail planned out. I will have a dance party funeral with strobe lights. Queen Latifah will be the minister. 58 1/2 people will be at my funeral. And my casket will be red velvet with purple flairs. All good to go. Oh, and then when they are lowering me into the ground, parachute fireworks will be set and go off. And my sister has said that at my funeral she will sing "ding dong the witch is dead".....