Dinosaur chicken nuggets...

Hello. My name is A-Dub. And I will be talking today about random crapp. I don't know if any of you are planning on going shopping on Black Friday, but I sure do. I have a usual routine that happens every year. I go with my mom and my sister, we head out around 5 pm on Thanksgiving. We go here and there, and after about ten minutes I get cold and I go hide in the car from all the bad people. This year though, I am deteremined to knock down some old ladies. I plan to take my "turkey" carving knife, and stab whoever will take my spot in line. No, I am not violent. Just determined. I am very thankful for everything that I get during Thanksgiving. For instance, I am grateful that I do not like turkey, and the national meal of thanksgiving is turkey. I am happy that my cousins always try to pee on me during the meal. I am thankful that I always fall asleep during the game. I am thankful that I gain 250 pounds after the holidays and I have to go run it off at basketball. Yupp, very thankful. During health, we were watching joint breaks and injury videos. L.G. is not that great at taking gross things, so she went to go roam the hallways duringn the videos. So naturally I sent her on a mission to go get me chips out of the vending machines. I didn't see this, but I think this is how her mission went"
Bumm bumm bummm BATMAN!!! (L.G. for short)
She goes and gets the chips. Gasp! there is a llama in the vending machine. she kicks the machine until the llama goes back to mexico. she grabs the chips, jumps over the ocean of lava. and gets back to health class safely.
So this Thanksgiving, thank someone and hug a mexican llama.
I plan to celebrate it traditionally, by inviting all my neighbors, eating a feast together, then killing them and taking their land. :)

Yeah, you're pretty old..

The song "Dinosaur" by Kesha helped me remember when I was a little kid, and still cared about "helping the world", and how I would go to an old folk's home, which always brought random adventures. One time, it was Valentine's day, and being the perfect little kid I was, I went out to hand out the flowers to the old people. One of them smelled like urine, while the other one decided that  I looked just like his wife, that was deceased, when they got married. It was oddly creepy, but not knowing at the time that he was assaulting me, I just went with it as a third grader. Ahhhhh little kids "helping."
A couple of years ago I decided that I should not be a mother. Part of it may be that I think about throwing away those plastic babies they give out in classes every time they start crying. Like I said, kids are like a four year commitment. They are like those ideas you have where you think they are a great idea, and then all of a sudden you wish you never did it. Kids are attacking each other also. They have these clubs now that you can take your kid there and they just fight other kids. Wait...no, they are not called fight clubs......what are those things...ugh I can't think of it... Wait! No! They are called Toddler Pageants. I love watching those things. All those little girls and boys dressing up and wearing fake hair and teeth. I can't help it, I just love watching them. It's like looking at what happened to Lindsay Lohan and Brittany Spears BEFORE the drug pocession and that whole shaving her hair thing. Which I believe will be coming into fashion very soon.

Do you pee on schedule?

Today  I was informed that I eat Twix candy bars like a mentally challenged seal. It's not even funny. What I do is I eat all the caramel off the top and eat the chocolate wafer stick thing. It is quite delicious. I was having a fun discussion with this girl from my math class. I informed her that I needed to go to the restroom. So I continued to explain to her how I hate teachers that don't let you go to the restroom in their room more than once a week. I drink lots of water a day, about 3 bottles throughout the school day. Now I don't know if I am a freak or something, but when I drink liquids, other liquids seem to like to partake in that activity, if you know what I mean. I go up to the teacher sometimes, and simply ask to go to the restroom, and she informs me that I went yesterday in that class. I enthusiastically answered this way:
"Oh I went pee yesterday? Oh I didn't know that I was only supposed to go pee once a week. I guess I can just hold it and become dehydrated. It's cool, I still love you."
Just so you know, my birthday is coming up. I am planning to have it at a women's prison. So you are all invited. Bring your shanks, though, it's kill your own food night and we will be making our own customizable license plates!

I have Name Dignity

If you have seen or not, (porbably not, because no one reads it) on what I THOUGHT was the anti- pickle juice blog (http://nowapopjuice.blogpsot.com/ ) is now YOURMOM.com. I was almost disappointed with this but then was overjoyed for three reasons. One; I have what I would like to call name dignity, where I pick a name, and I stick with it. (besides that mishap where I went through three names throughout a year, but you know how that witness protection program is) I am not going to sink low, where since I decided no one likes my blog, I'll just change it in hopes of more viewers. Now, K-Dawg is a semi lovely person, but everyone loves my name so I will just stick with my dignity thank you! Reason two: Pickles are good. And my personal favorite, choice three. I realized even though the name of the blog has been changed, the url has not. It is still related to the old name of the blog. So hahaha. How do you like them magical leprechauns that go in and mess up other people's blogs!
I have decided that whenever I mess up on something, or say something odd, I will just explain to everyone around me that I am really a ninety year old women and at last, am senile. I feel like that would be a good explanation to everything. aksdjfkasdjf whoops, sorry I'm senile. Oh, I knocked over your drink? Sorry, I'm senile. What? I hit your kid with a two food long italian breadstick? That's actually not because I am senile, your kid fell over, and scraped his knee, asked for a bandaid, I didn't like the sass he was giving me, so I hit him with bread. I don't think that means I am senile, neccessarily.

Animal Crackers in My Soup!

Have you ever noticed that when you eat animal crackers, the eyes are literally watching you eat them. You go in to bite their little adorable edible heads off and they are watching you. It's like they enjoy seeing you eat them or something. That can only mean one thing: Animal Crackers are a self absorbed food and only care about themselves.
So today my L.G. ( i know! i haven't talked about her in a while) and I were talking, and we decided that I am joining the circus and she is joining with me. We shall ride on bears, and pet elephants majestically. It will be pretty chill. L.G. and I have a friend in common which I shall call S-Dawg. S-Dawg and I were talking in the hallway and we began to plan on how we would kidnap L.G. for no particular reason. I drew up a plan, very detailed with stick people, and here it goes!:
Step Numero Uno: Grab L.G.
Number 2: Stick her in a potato sack with her name on it, then crossed out, and draw a money sign on it to make it not look suspicious.
Number 3 to 3 1/2: Take her to a rainbow, where a pot of gold and a Leprechaun will be waiting for her and to have a dance party.
It's a pretty well thought out plan.

Ahh the Adventures of Hobo-ism

So our field trip/adventure was today! It was uber fun. Except with all fun things, you know you will get hit on by random creepy men which probably only have three toes. Our field trip was at a public library, so naturally some homeless people were going to be there during our field trip.I had a buddy I was going around with, and at a point I thought she was carrying my books for me. We go up to check out, and I realized she did not grab my books. (yeah she is a horrible person now) Anyways, I just said I would go speedy quick and grab them myself. I go grab them, naturally I am tired by taking 3 stairs, so I took the elevator to the floor of choice. Right before the doors close, a guy in baggy sweats and a flamboyant t-shirt came in. He said Hey and I replied with a polite "What do you want, Creep?" (that is A-Dub's way of saying hello in the correct manner.) He asked me what school I was from, and I again politely answered. He replied with a "cool, i'm a senior at excelsior springs." Now, this guy in the elevator looked to be about thirty. It is very reassuring to know that there are 30 year-olds, still in high school, on a school day, were hanging out at the library. Very good day for me.
I had another fun adventure! We got to go to a food court for lunch, which has a starbucks. I made a drug deal with a guy friend, that I would get us both coffee, if he ordered my lunch for me. So he told me his coffee order, and I was on my way. After getting over the starbucks bartender lusting after me, I orded my drink in which he replied with a short ok. Then, I ordered the guy's drink: A caramel frappucino, no whipped cream, extra espresso. The bartender asked if I was ordering for another girlfriend of mine. I said "No, just a guy." The starbucks guy replied with an awkward "......oh....okk" Its lovely to know that there are some men in the world that order girlier and possibly more Lady Gaga like drinks. Way to go guys, way to show your manness.

Don't buy those cheap flowers

Today, my friend and I were going to go out for basketball. I explained to her that since it was the first day of try outs, they would probably try to kill us to knock off the weak ones. So therefore, she and I are going to plan and fake our own deaths to get out of running in basketball. I have every detail planned out. I will have a dance party funeral with strobe lights. Queen Latifah will be the minister. 58 1/2 people will be at my funeral. And my casket will be red velvet with purple flairs. All good to go. Oh, and then when they are lowering me into the ground, parachute fireworks will be set and go off. And my sister has said that at my funeral she will sing "ding dong the witch is dead".....

New Rival Blog Stands NO chance

Check out this nub's new blog. It's supposed to be hatin' on me, but honestly, K-Dawg loves me. With a passion. htpp://nowapopjuice.blogspot.com/

Let the dissing begin...

Hi. I am the best friend of the writer, but her blog holds no interest for me. I am thinking about starting a blog that disses hers... and no it's not just a publicity stunt. When I talk about the writer I will call her A Dub. A Dub is at my house, and I am pretty sure she is high. She repeatedly tells me how she doesn't need a man because she has her L.G. AWKWARD. So I am the first not A Dub to write on this blog. Is that an honor? I'm not so sure, because this blog is pretty weird. If a weirdo writes it, you must be a weirdo if you're reading this. That's right weirdo. Not to offend anyone or anything... no please take the offense. It makes my life more fun. A Dub and I went to the musical last night. She kept making advances on me. I was kind of freaking out. She also makes fun of my speaking. It's very very cruel. You know what, K-dawg, this is A-Dub. I told you to stay off my blog while I was on skype. And what do you do? you go on MY blog, put YOUR feelings, and inappropriate gestures, and insult the A-Dub name. this has been the last time you will be on my blog. you are banned. and you have to do and drink a lot to be banned off my blog. heck, i haven't even been banned yet and look at me. I practically buy wine at quiktrip everyday.

Chickens have feelings too.

Today, some girls in my school were having a friendly discussion about which one of them is a lying backstabbing cheater. Friendly. I could not take any of them seriously, so I naturally joined in on the conversation. I replied with "REALLY??!?!?"s and many "WHATTTT??!?!"s, and I feel like it went well. My L.G. proceeded to same dirogatory terms about them. That was the best part of the conversation, naturally. I was watching a video about nutrition, which is nonstop action, and there was a lady on there talking about how diets didn't work for her. She said that once she would start eating a lot again, she would gain weight. Now she must have some strange condition, because I have never heard of gaining weight from eating food....
I spend a great deal of my day eating, and on Facebook. Yes, I have checked into a Facebook Addiction Support Group. They just threw paper and me and yelled and hurt my feelings. So I will continue to be addicted to facebook. I enjoy liking every single thing on my friends' pages. They obviously love getting 82 notifications. Who doesnt? Cher. That's who. Have you noticed that any word with 3D after it sounds amazing? Movie in 3D. Monsters in 3D. Toilets in 3D. Disease in 3D. They all sound pretty awesome to me.